Ronald McDonald Dead at 69! Oh No!

In a shocking press release issued today from the Ronald McDonald Hospital in San Diego, California, Stated that  Rondald McDonald has passed away.

 

He was pronounced dead at 11:07 a.m. McMountain time. Dr. B. Mac told reporters, “I’ve honestly never seen arteries clogged this badly before. I don’t know how he lived this long.”

Ronald McDonald was survived by his wife Mrs. McTasty and their three children the fry kids.

In recent years, his friends Hamburgler, Mayor McCheese and others have been trying to get him to eat healthier. Serving him side salads and apple dippers. It’s clear now that Ronald didn’t follow their advice.

Jarred, from Subway was quoted saying, “I tried to tell him.”

The (self proclaimed) “King”, was also quoted saying, “he was a worthy franchise giant, but it looks like there will never be any doubt who the real burger king will be.” The King was also seen passing out whoppers to all the saddened children at the Ronald McDonald Hospital.

Ronald had also become very angry and had even been seen lashing out towards children.  Just last month he was seen passing out “Ronald Mcdonalds” buttons with, less than appropriate messages.

A nurse who had been near his bed when he passed, told reporters, “he grabbed my hand, and I watched a single tear roll down his cheek.” She later went on to say his last words were, “Tell them I am sorry…” Just like that he was gone.

His funeral will be held at the McMid-Town Cemetary near his home town of Playland at 3 p.m. McMountain time.

He was 69 years old.